Without You: A Pre RENT through RENT Fanfic
by Mewn
Summary: Roger just lost the love of his life, April.
1. Chapter 1

Pre-Rent/Rent

MPOV- Mark RPOV- Roger --

**MPOV-**  
I walked down the road with Roger on our way back to the loft after having lunch at the Life Cafe. It was a beautiful, warm day for March, an awesome day for filming.. I would have to come out later. I slowed my pace, enjoying the scenery. Roger got impatient and sped up, knowing his girlfriend, April would be home by now. I smiled a bit and sped up to match his pace.

It was unusually quiet when we got back to the loft. I didn't hear any of the comforting sounds that I usually heard. No bubbling of the coffee pot, no page turning of a magazine, no giggles from April.

"She must be napping." Roger whispered, sounding just as unsure about that statement as I did. He walked back towards the room that he and April shared as I walked into the living room to check the voice mail. What I saw stopped me dead in my tracks.

"Roger...?" I called quietly for him.

"She's not in the bedroom, I wonder where sh-" he stopped as he saw what I did. He picked up a small slip of paper from the table and read to himself:  
_We've got AIDS_


	2. Chapter 2

MPOV-

I heard Roger's sharp intake of breath. This couldn't be happening. Roger couldn't have AIDS. April couldn't have AIDS. I already knew our best friend Collins had AIDS. All of my friends were slowly dying around me and there was nothing I could do about it. A lump formed in my throat and hot tears stung my eyes, but I knew we had to find April.

Roger began frantically searching the loft as I ran to the bathroom to wash the tears off my face before Roger saw them, I was sure he was upset enough, I didn't want to worry him more.

I walked into the bathroom and immediately jumped back with a gasp. I had found April. She was lying in the bathtub, she had committed suicide. I stumbled out of the bathroom, colliding with a few walls on my way out. The lump had made it's way back into my throat, and hot tears were streaming down my face.

"What's wrong?!" Roger demanded, grabbing me firmly by the shoulders.

I tried to speak, but couldn't make the words come out. I grabbed Roger by the wrist and pulled him into the bathroom. The moment Roger saw her he began hyperventilating. He pulled his wrist out of my grasp and I heard a thud behind me, but couldn't take my eyes off of April. I heard a low moan of grief and despair coming from behind me. I slowly turned to find Roger laying curled up on the bathroom floor, his face red with tears streaming down it. I knew there would be nothing I could do for him, and slowly walked out of the room to call for someone to come take April away.

The moment I hung up the phone, the realization of what had just happened washed over me. April had given Roger AIDS, felt guilty, and killed herself. Roger had just seen the love of his life, dead, in the bathroom. My walls collapsed and I began sobbing, I ran back into the bathroom where Roger was still curled up on the floor screaming April's name in between gasps, sobs, and moans. I pulled the shower curtain shut and sat down next to Roger, burrying my face in my hands and sobbing with him.

It wasn't long until they came to take April away. I didn't want Roger to watch the men take her body, and I tried to get him up and into his room, or at least to the couch. My strength was gone from all the crying, so I decided to just let him there.

I stayed by Roger's side for nearly 5 hours, it was 11pm and Roger was still sobbing uncontrollably, moaning and calling out his lost love's name. I couldn't take this anymore.

"Roger..." I said, lightly tapping him. I got no response, I didn't know if he could hear me over his sobs. "Roger, you should go lay down and try to get some sleep..." he shook his head no, and rolled back over. Seeing him like this was more than I could take. I began crying again, and made my way to my usual bed, the couch. I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep, but it was better laying here than the hard tile floor of the bathroom.

There I lay, listening to Roger's heart-wreching sobs for about another 3 hours. They quieted at around 1am, soon to be replaced by screams of agony. I pulled myself quickly off the couch and ran to his side. He was screaming in his sleep.

"Roger, you have to wake up..." I said, lightly shaking him.

"Mark, I can't do this.. I can't take this," he managed to stutter between sobs.

"I know, Roger, I know." I said comfortingly as I pulled him to his feet. He leaned against me as I pullled him to the couch. I knew the bedroom he had shared with April would be too much for him to take, so I let him sleep on the couch as I lay on the floor. He alternated between screams of agony and calling April's name while he slept.

It was going to be a long night. 


	3. Chapter 3

**MPOV-**

I must've cried myself to sleep sometime during the night, when I awoke the clock read 7am. Roger was still asleep, calling out for April. April. The thought of her made tears spring into my eyes. All I wanted to do was curl up on the couch and cry, but there were things to be done; calls to be made. I started off with funeral arrangements. I scheduled it for March 27, April's birthday. I then took a deep breath, and called April's mother.

"Hello?" I heard the familiar high pitched voice of April's mother answer.

"Hi. Um. It's Mark. Roger's roommate." I replied shakily.

"Oh, hello Mark. It's been ages since we talked. Is something wrong? You sound awful... no offence, of course."

"April is dead." I blurted out. There was no stopping me now, I couldn't wait, I had to blurt the whole story out now, before I cracked. "She gave Roger AIDS, and couldn't live with herself. Roger and I came home and found her dead. She's dead. She killed herself." I did it. I said it. I held my breath, waiting for her response. I could hear her gasp, trying to register what I had just said. I could then hear the sobs. "I'm... I'm so sorry..." I managed to say, letting my own grief overtake me, I began to cry again.

"..What?" she asked between sobs.

"She's dead. It's over." I said, trying desperately to steady my voice.

"When's the funeral?"

"March 27. In three days. Can you make it in time?"

"Yes. I'll be there. Mark, thank you for telling me. How's Roger dealing with all of this?" she asked, sounding sincerely worried about him.

"Well, it took me hours to get him out of the bathroom, where we found her. He's sleeping on the couch now." I probably would've simply said 'hard' to anyone else, but I always felt very comfortable talking to April's mother. "I can't deal with this... it's so hard."

"Talk, Mark. I'll listen, I will." her voice didn't sound annoyed, she was being very honest with me.

"It's so hard seeing him like this. He's been moaning and sobbing and hardly sleeping, and when he does sleep he screams, screams of agony and pain, as if someone was killing him. I can't listen to it. I feel like I just have to leave." I took in a gasp of air and continued. "I feel so selfish saying all of this. I should be there for Roger. I'm not suffering half of what he is!"

"Mark, I can imagine how hard this is for you, but you have to be there for Roger right now." She said. "You have alot on your plate right now, too."

"Thanks for listening." I managed.

"Any time, Mark. Call me whenever you need to talk, I'll be here. Tell Roger the same, please."

"I'll see you soon."

"Alright, Mark. See you then."

We said our goodbyes, and I then called and broke the news to my mother, and then Roger's, who both agreed to come out to April's funeral. Roger's cries and screams stopped, he must've woken up.

"Morning, Rodge." I said, managing a weak smile as I looked at him, still laying on the couch. He looked very distant. He had bloodshot eyes with dark circles underneath of them. He didn't look like the Roger I knew at all. The Roger I knew was always very bright, always laughing with a silly grin on his face. I missed that Roger.

He sighed a shaky sigh, "Morning, Mark." His greeting came out as a croak, his throat must've been sore from the crying and screaming he'd been doing. I was grateful that he was done crying, but I knew it wouldn't last.

I didn't know what to say to him. I was afraid of saying the wrong thing and sending him spiraling downhill again. "How-" I stopped myself. Oviously 'how're you?' would be a pretty dumb question to ask someone who just lost the love of their life. Stupid, Mark. Stupid, stupid, stupid! "Are you hungry?" I finally decided to ask.

"No, I can't eat."

"At least drink something?" I asked, pouring him a glass of water. "Don't dehydrate yourself."

He sipped his water, "When's the funeral?" I could hear the strain in his voice as he fought back the tears that threatened to come.

"The 27th. Three days from now."

He slowly nodded, letting a tear esape, and then another, and another. He was soon sobbing again. I patted his back saying things like, "It's ok" over and over again. I knew I wasn't doing much help. I was never good in this type of situation.

"Mark?" He called for me quietly. "I miss her."

"I know you do, I miss her, too." and with that, I broke down, too.

I don't know how long our crying together went on, it could have easily been hours. Then I heard a light knock on the door, I wasn't in the mood for company. I quickly rinsed my face in the bathroom sink, the lump rising in my throat again as I entered that room. I walked back to the door, took a deep breath, and opened it. I groaned as I saw our landlord, and ex roommate, Benny, standing there in the frame. Benny was a good guy, but I really didn't need to listen to his cheery stories of success right now. Benny was very boyish, always giddy and happy even in the most serious of situations.

"Hey, hey, hey!" He said cheerfully "How goes?"

"April's dead." Roger spoke up. That was the first time I'd heard him say those words. His defenses came crashing down again, and he began screaming.

"Who's April?" Benny whispered to me.

"Roger's girlfriend." I said, swallowing the lump in my throat.

"I'm so sorry." Benny said, sounding serious for once. "I was wondering if you guys wanted to go out for dinner tonight?"

"I don't think tonight would be very good, Benny..." I said. "Unless Roger...?"

Roger shook his head no. He was getting tired again, I could see.

"Another time, then." Benny said, smiling. "Feel better." He said, looking at Roger, before leaving.


	4. Chapter 4

**MPOV-**

Roger spent the next two days mourning on the couch. I was exhausted, not being able to sleep while Roger screamed. I had made progress with him, finally getting him to eat soup, but that was all. I groaned as I realized what today was. The 27th. It was going to be a long, hard day for Roger.

Rodger pulled himself up off the couch, this was the first time he had done this since the day that April had died.

"Hey, Rodge." I waved, forcing a small smile onto my face.

"Hey." He replied, sounding groggy.

I was about to tell him to get ready for the funeral, but thought better of it. He could go as he pleased. I didn't plan on dressing up, myself. I trudged into the bathroom and washed my face.

"Rodge? You ready to go?" I asked quietly.

He sighed, "Yeah, I guess so."

As we left the loft, another wave of realization came crashing down over me:  
Today was the day. The day we would say our final goodbyes to April. I couldn't take this. I didn't want to deal with this. But I had to, for April. For Roger.

We walked into the funeral home to be greeted by April's mother. "Hello, you two." she said, a fake smile plastered on her face. I quickly glanced around before replying, my mother hadn't arrived yet. Roger's mother was there, along with some people I didn't recognize, probably some of April's family. I said hello to April's mother and hugged her, I then walked over to my mother, who had just walked in. As I left April's mother, I was glad to hear Roger talk to her. I hadn't heard him say much for the past two days. Maybe he would be ok after all.

"Hey, mom." I said, hugging her.

"Hi, Mar-" She was cut off by Roger yelling.

"DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT TO ME!" He screamed. "DON'T YOU DARE!" He shouted again, running up the staircase, which led to a small hall upstairs with only a balcony and restrooms.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HIM?!" I screamed at her, I didn't mean for it to come out as a scream, but I had finally seen some improvement in Roger, and I couldn't let her make him worse.

"THIS IS ALL HIS FAULT. IT'S HIS FAULT MY DAUGHTER'S DEAD." She screamed, red-faced. I understood why she was upset, but there was no reason for her to take this out on Roger. Especially after she had offered to comfort him on the phone the other night.

Roger's mother began running towards April's mother, clearly ready to attack her. My mother and many of the members of April's family held Roger's mother and April's mother back. I ran upstairs to find Roger. I reached the top of the stairs only to find Roger standing on the railing of the balcony.

"ROGER! NO!" I screamed louder than I thought possible.

**RPOV-**

"ROGER! NO!" I heard Mark scream louder than I'd ever heard him scream before.

"Go away, Mark." I whispered, not sure if he could hear me.

"ROGER, NO. I WONT GO AWAY UNTIL YOU GET OVER HERE."

"Mark, she was right." I whispered, letting a tear roll down my cheek.

"...That's not true, Roger. She's just upset... she doesn't mean it." he whispered.

"Mark, I can't deal with this. This is the hardest thing I ever had to put up with. I can't live without her." I said, a lump forming in my throat and hot tears stinging my eyes. With that, I let myself fall forward off the balcony.


	5. Chapter 5

**MPOV-**

"NO!" I screamed, lunging towards Roger's falling body, but it wasn't any use, I was too far away.

Roger landed with a sickening thud on the pavement below. I was grief-stricken and furious at April's mother for causing this. I had nothing left, nothing. I was about to throw myself off of the balcony, also, but thought better of it. Tears began streaming down my face as I ran down the stairs.

"Help, someone call 9-11!" I shouted as I passed the group of people still arguing downstairs.

I reached Roger laying on the pavement and sat down next to him, I leaned on Roger's chest and began to sob, until I felt the soft rise and fall of his chest.

"Oh my god, Rodge." I asked shakily, trying to swallow the tears, "Rodge, can you hear me?" No answer.

Everyone emerged from inside of the funeral home and ran to Roger's side just as the ambulance arrived.

"Is he ok?!" Roger's mother frantically asked the emergency crew as they loaded him onto a stretcher.

"Ma'am, please let us do our jobs." one man said, sounding annoyed.

They took Roger to the hospital and we all headed down to see what was happening. I got a ride with my mother, since I didn't have a car. The ride to the hospital was silent, except for the crying that I did on and off.

We waited in a small room for what seemed like hours until a man in a long white coat appeared.

"Is this the Davis family?" he asked.

"Yes." Roger's mother replied.

"Your son is going to be fine." we all sighed in relief with that news, "He has a few bruises and two fractured ribs, but he'll be ok. We're going to keep him overnight, but he wont be able to move too much for the next two months. I'll call in a painkiller for him." he informed us.

"Can we see him?" I asked.

"He's still unconscious," the man said, "but you can certainly go see him. He's in room 325." Upon getting permission to go see Roger, everyone swarmed into his room. Everyone but me. I sat there in the small waiting room, flipping through a magazine. Of course I wanted to see Roger, but I'm also sure that he didn't want to be surrounded when he awoke.

It was getting late when the crowd emerged from his room. He hadn't come-to yet, most likely due to his painkillers. It was getting late and everyone had decided to leave.

"Mark, are you going to be ok with him? Would you like me to stay with you guys until Roger's recovered?" Roger's mother asked me.

"Yes, I'll be fine. No, you don't have to stay. It'll be alright." I replied.

"Ok, call me if you need anything. Anything at all. That includes money." She said. She knew Roger and I were always very reluctant to ask for money, even though we often needed it.

"Thanks."

After everyone left, I strolled into Roger's room. I sat down in the chair next to him and watched the steady pattern of his heart monitor. As much as I hated seeing Roger in the hospital, it was a welcomed relief seeing him sleep without calling out for April.

I must've fallen asleep in the chair, I was awakened by Roger.

"...Mark?" He called quietly, he sounded very tired. It must've still been very late, or very early, I couldn't tell. It was dark outside the window and I could see the moon glowing bright.

"I'm here, Rodge. I'm here." I said quietly, afraid to touch him.

"I'm sorry. That was such a stupid thing I did tonight..." he said quietly. I wanted to yell at him and tell him that it was the dumbest thing he's ever done, but I couldn't get the words to come out. He sighed and I heard his muffled, "Ouch. What did I do to myself?"

"You've got two broken ribs. You wont be able to move around too much for the next two months." I replied. "You should get some rest."

"You too." he said, "G'night, Mark." Within minutes, Roger had fallen asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**MPOV-**

The next morning I called a cab to come take Roger and I back to the loft, the fee was nearly $15, but Roger was in no condition to walk. I sighed as it occured to me that I would have to find a real job to pay for these medical bills. Roger and I were usually able to scrape by with my selling film clips and Roger's singing gigs. Though, now that Roger is well, the way he is, the occasional $40 I bring in is not going to pay for the bill that would arrive in the mail any day now.

Luckily Roger and I never had to pay rent for our apartment because our landlord, Benny, used to live with us before he moved in with his own girlfriend, Allison. Another friend of ours, Tom Collins (or as we like to call him, Collins), used to live with us also, but he got a teaching gig at NYU, and moved near there. Maureen, my ex, used to live with us also, until I found out she was cheating on me with a woman. Maureen now lives with her girlfriend, Joanne. It may seem like the apartment emptied out, but Roger and April's goofiness made up for it all. They were a great couple, always laughing and making others laugh. When April was around you couldn't so much as keep a straight face around Roger. He was just a great, enjoyable person. Now it's like his soul has died.

Soon enough we arrived at our building, Roger slowly began dragging himself up the stairs, saying "ow" as he went up each one. We could really use an elevator right now, and I'm far too weak to carry Roger, not that he would let me anyways.

As soon as we got up to the loft, Roger collapsed on the couch and watched me flip open the paper to the classifieds."What the hell are you doing?" he asked.

"Looking for a job, what do you think?" I replied, glancing up at him.

"Pffft. Hahaha. Mark Cohen.. get a job? Haha. Yeah right, those words don't belong in the same sentence. You haven't had a job since you did the paper route when you were 11. Remember? You were my paper carrier. I was the kid always throwing rocks at you as you went passed my house on your bike!" he laughed out as that familiar goofy grin spread across his face.

"..Yeah, thanks for that." I said, glaring at him. I wasn't angry with him though, it was nice to hear his laugh and see that goofy grin, he was right anyways. I quickly got bored skimming over the classifieds and closed the paper.

"Ha! I knew the job hunt wouldn't last more than 10 minutes!" Roger grinned.

"Oh, shut up!" I chuckled. I didn't want Roger to stop laughing, I could already see the grin slowly fading from his face. "Hey, Rodge?"

"Hm?" He glanced over.

"Do you remember how we became friends?"

"Hahahahaha! How could I forget? That was HILARIOUS." He cracked up.

***flashback***

It was back in 11th grade, I was sitting in my 5th period home ec class.

"Good afternoon class, I'm going to assign a very fun project today," Mrs. Duff announced, "I'm going to pair a girl to a guy by pulling names out of hats. The couple is to pretend to be married and take care of this sack of flour as if it was a child. Let's begin pairing you up."

After about 10 minutes of yays and groaning, my name still wasn't called. I peered around the classroom, not being able to find anyone who wasn't already called.

"Hmm, seems we have an uneven number. There's no girls left. Mark, Roger, you too are going to be a couple." I heard many of the students giggling as she said this.

"HELL NO!" Roger and I stood shouted at the same time.

Mrs. Duff raised an eyebrow at us, "Now boys, it's only pretend. Surely you can last 3 days?"

"Oh, fine." Roger said, rolling his eyes.

--

"Look, I'm sorry you got paired with me, Roger" I stammered as we walked home together from school that day. Roger was carrying our sack of flour under one arm.

"Nah, it's cool. Hey, my parents are going to be out of town until a few days after the project is due. How about you come stay at my place until then?"

His words came as a shock to me, Roger never liked me. When I was 11 and did the paper route, he threw rocks at me every time I passed his house on my bike. He hung my beloved camera someplace just out of reach numerous times. Hell, once he invited me to stay over at his house, and tied my sleeping bag from the basement rafters and used it as a pinata... with me inside of it. Needless to say, Roger and I did not get along. "You're not going to use me as a human pinata this time, are you?" I asked, smirking.

A goofy grin spread over his face, "I wont." he stammered, holding back laughter, "Sorry about that, I was horrible to you, you were just so much fun to tease."

"Yeah, it's fine. And sure, yeah I'll come." I replied, I wasn't going to hold a grudge, it was in the past anyway.

"Awesome. Awesome. Go home and get clothes for three days and meet me at my place. See you then" He said walking off in the direction of his house, the sack of flour tucked under his arm.

--

I got to his house about 20 minutes later and knocked on the door, "Come on in" I heard his familiar voice shout. I opened up the door and walked in to see Roger sitting on the couch, holding the sack of flour baby style in front of a bassinet. I raised an eyebrow at him, "What are you doing?"

"Taking care of our child, what does it look like I'm doing?" He said, grinning. "His name is Musetta. Musetta Cohen-Davis."

I grinned and sat on the couch next to him, wrapping an arm around Roger's shoulder and looking down at Musetta, "He's beautiful," I said, sniffling. We both cracked up laughing.

--

The day the project was due strolled around and we started walking to school, Roger carrying the flour baby style again. He walked out into the street, still looking down at the flour.

"ROGER, WATCH OUT!" I screamed yanking him off to the curb by the hood of his sweatshirt just as a car sped passed directly where Roger had been standing a second before.

"QUICK, GET THE DUSTPAN!" Roger screamed, looking down at the busted sack of flour laying in the road.

We dusted up the pieces and dumped it in a Wal-Mart bag, continuing our walk to school. "Thanks for that, Mark." He said, looking down, "And sorry my stupidity most likely got us a failing grade."

"Don't worry about it, Rodge." I chuckled, "You almost died and you're worrying about a failing grade? Who cares? Come on, we're going to be late."

--

"Mark, Roger? Your flour?" Mrs. Duff called our names, waiting for us to turn in our assignment. We walked up to her desk and dropped the Wal-Mart bag. "What the hell is this?"

"We uh.. had a slight mishap with the kid." I said, looking to the floor.

"Damn kid, when's he gonna learn to not jump on the bed because he could fall off?" Roger said, that goofy grin returning to his face.

"C minus. Go sit." Mrs. Duff said, rolling her eyes at us.

"Woo! We passed! We're great parents!" Roger yelled, cracking up laughing.

***end flashback***

"I guess this is the second time you saved my life, then," Roger said, looking down. I could see tears slowly making their way down his cheek. He slowly laid down completely on the couch and tears began rolling down his cheeks, soon turning to hysterical sobs.

I sighed and lounged out on the recliner, it was going to be another long night.


	7. Announcement

Sorry I haven't updated in a while, guys...

I've been busy with school and other things. Went to see RENT: The Broadway Tour, Brad Paisley twice, David Cook, Avenue Q, and I'm going to see Daughtry next week. So I don't know when the next chap will be uploaded, so just keep an eye out!


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